Mantra: Deception day 1

Note I wrote this two weeks ago but FORGOT to post it:
       On my Quest to find inner peace, I  travelled to places so far inside my conscience, I was scared  that I would never come out of it. It was almost a limbo. But quite not. Then, I found inner peace- On my phone. I am so glad that I wanted  to be tech savvy and cool. Because that led me to become the proud owner of Samsung Captivate.

   So ya. I went to the Market and typed in dozens of words that would lead me to one single goal- peace of mind. In the end, I downloaded an App called 5- minute meditation. Yesterday, when my heartbeat was unusually high, since I was panicking about papers and quizzes and life and life, I gave it a try. 

It was pretty relaxing. If you feel exhausted and frustrated. Join the league. It's called stress and it's been here forever. Now you can sit and whine and whine and whine. You'll succeed in what you wanted to do. That's nothing.  But you can also step up. Now you must think - Ah, she is starting to sound like a self help book. 

   Now come on. I swear if there is one thing I am not, that's a self help book. I am just sharing a little bit wisdom that appeared before me. It taught me to deceive your mind. Your stressed mind is confused. Exhausted. And all it wants to do is feel better.

    Meditation is the best way. Totally immerse yourself in it. Push yourself to believe that it is the answer.  Don't try to be smart about it. Don't let your mind think about why it's not working. Just tell yourself it is.

Yep she helped me for a week.

I tried this one and it's awesome. It's still running on my phone.

    Try it for a week and share your thoughts.  These were free. You might find fancier and costlier ones. You can choose whatever. But keep in mind your goal. And that's attaining  peace of mind

                         

Once upon a time....and Now

This is the picture that's on my book. The smile is familiar to me now.

The  University introduced me to the Rwandan Genocide. It's devastating. I miss my copy of The Diary of Anne Frank. It lies in my bedroom, back home. I was probably 13 or 14. The same age as Anne Frank. The first time I read it, I couldn't comprehend the magnitude of  barbarism, this young girl was witnessing. But I read the book more than once. Every time, we had a World Wa rII lesson or a chapter on the Holocaust, I would re-read her entries. It started to make more sense.. I get the same almost- nauseous  feeling now. When we watched Alfredo Jaar's " We wish to inform you that we didn't know", the same feeling of disbelief was back.
Just one single thought. Sums up, everything.
How
A Million people, butchered to death in  less than 100 days. And the rest of the world turned the other way. The documentary blames Top Leaders for ignoring the happenings. It's just eerie, to think how you can just overlook such a thing. It's unbelievable.

And we move on to technology. To generations of iphones and tablets and rockets. And not even long ago, 80,000 bodies were thrown into rivers.

The Thirty Years War, The Revolutions, The Nuclear attacks." Price for independence". Just so that you can sing of glory.
But is anyone free?

To be continued........

Blues

        

It's when we look for excuses. 

Have you ever noticed that Monday is just like Sunday? 

We add the Blues. 

These man-made, these long calender of events, 

this snowy day.

 It's all the making of a story. 

Facts are thrown at you like bullets. 

Or could they be flower petals, gently being sprinkled.

See I am talking about perspective. 

I mean, how long will we wait for the right time. 

Oops mine could have just gone. 

It's probably the wisdom that comes in the twenty. 

But I am rather on the philosophical edge.

 It's like giving birth. 

Only the pain of bursting out of this cocoon isn't as tangible.

 But this monumental endeavor could awaken me.

It's almost epiphany. 

And maybe not. 

It's always been there. 

I am just not able to catch it. 

More than just a Crush

Hola! The year has come to an end.  And I am glad to say that I am ready to embrace 2011, on a posititive note. However, I did not spend the last day of the year on an  exotic lunch or bungy jumping. I actually just finished watching The Princess Diaries. Oh how I love Anne Hathaway in that movie! I still remember being 13 and obsessive. It brought back memories of bygone when movies like those mattered so much. Now come on, we all digged " teen-queen drama". It took you away from the harsh and boring life and threw you into this world where a girl was living your dream.
Baha, I did get quite carried away didn't I?
     But much truth are in those words. Everyone of  us have our own phase of teen-drama craze. Who cared if movies repeatedly boasted of the same  crush-on-a-hunk and cheerleaders-ruled idea? I might scoff at the idea of ever being influenced by them. But here's the truth: they sold millions of dollars for a reason.
     From idolizing Mary-Kate and Ashley to  attempting to write a letter to Dan Radcliffe, we all have had our moments. :P
Here's the cliche- It brings back memories. I finished the entire Princess Diaries (book) series in a week. Meg Cabot was Queen. I went insane. Today as I watched the movie, it was rather funny. Reminded me of a lost excitement. BTW, Good times and nostalgia make good supper .
     Baby Sitter's Club. The series written by Anne Martin, ruled my life at a point in time. I was  mesmerized  by the idea of these 13 year olds meeting up thrice a week and all that. There were mysteries, there were actions, there were boys. It felt like heaven.
Even growing out of them is a memory. It shows you how long you have come. Never will I squeal again when I watch someone kiss on T.V.  Never will Hillary Duff be my source of inspiration. Not that I don't admire the actress. We're just on a different level!


You might say it's obvious. You had to grow out of it.

Ofcourse. But when?

When do we realize that it is time to move on. Can I pin point the day when I woke up and realized I need to stop thinking about kissing Nick Carter?

Life is always ambiguous. You'll  be surprised when you realize that time has come to laugh about things that you thought that mattered so much.

BUT There is a lot we've taken from it. And it is more than just sense of fashion or the idea of Prince Charming. So much we learn from these early life adventures are actually hidden behind  what succeeds it.
So my new resolution is to not laugh at Hannah Montana and the Bieber boy.
Happy New Year

Thought for the day:  Be careful about your child's first onscreen kiss

The tornadao that came

      Here goes. I have been wanting to scream, shout, yell, cry and strangle myself. It's finals and it's winter. Sorry snow-lovers, but I despise the flakes and flurries. Can't wait for Christmas to lighten things up. Ah. Complaining feels so much better.
      And now good news. I am here to share something more interesting than my battle against the brutal winds of the Kansan plains. Today was my last Studio B class. We did six shows throughout the semester. I had to shoot videos, edit, write,  and anchor. PHEW.
      My experience with college life, is like a huge tornado, that keeps coming back. A whirlwind of energy  sucks me in and throws most of my parts out.  It leaves me just where I was. I look around and realize that; I got nothing on me. Then I rebuild. It get's better. But unfortunately my world doesn't have a warning. Another tornado is on its way  to mock my resistance. It's teaching me to get real.

       And the biggest tornado this year was Studio B.Try talking on TV and we'll see who's confident.

       My first show- I felt like I was an idiot, choosing to become a broadcast journalist. I couldn't even talk in front of the camera without my hands shaking. Could I please stick to writing?And that Oh-I-might-poop feeling.
        But! I am here to applaud. I am here to tell myself that I did a good job, although deep down, I know I sucked most of the time. Sometimes I did good. And believe it or not, I will soak up the good ones into my veins of experience. It's aways easy to hate yourself for being stupid. But it's hard to overcome the dumb things you do.( Plan B: Pretend like it never happened)
 It all comes down to movers and shakers, and doers.
       In general I did pretty well. Met new people. Learned new skills. Accepted the fact that it's okay to be "not the best."
      Well then, what am I going to do about the another tornado that's waiting for me next semester?  There are two things I have promised myself.

1) I will NOT cry.
2) I will NOT change my major.

David Youso on the prompter machine. If this goes wrong, the anchor will see a blank screen. Bad ones will die on the spot, good ones will know they're great.

                                                                        

The centre point of the tornado

Behind the scenes: They direct, the show and how it goes.

So many cameras!

                      Thought for the day: Your tornado is waiting outside.

My Li'l Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving '10 will go down as memorable. You can't beat a broken ankle.  Followed by a  random trip to another city, only realising that you have to drive back without doing anything.

Because?

It's Thanksgiving. Everything is closed!

Apart from that, me and my girlfriends had some wisdom shed on our hungover heads. We visited the Wichita Citadel. My final project required me to look for stories. It so happened that for the first time ever, I did my homework. Talked to the Captain of The Salvation Army the day before.
We had never been to a dinner and it was heartwarming. What struck me the most was kids helping out their parents. Flaunting the "salvation army" Aprons, Kids aged 5 to 15 were helping out, asking people if they wanted water. Did anyone want more food?  Did they need napkins?

The angle for my story became crystal clear. =)

Five years from today, the dinner will probably become a distant memory for the young ones. But what that day teaches them will remain forever. Do we ever stop to think of all the good things we did as children?
Let's see. Mom says all I did was run around naked, chasing fellow little ones. Gave her a hard time. Nonetheless, she tells me I was a good kid.

I take that to the heart and have decided to add a new bullet on my new year's resolution; Become the kid I was.

It's much better than watching kindergarten folks dirty dancing. Don't tell me you haven't watched that video? Disgusts me.

 And it's much better than  hearing  news about kids biting each other. Edward and Bella, your love is causing  constant pain to the race of humanity. ( joke* joke)

Jokes apart, I loved what I saw and let me have the pleasure of sharing some great people I met.

Let's admire their deed and get inspired to do the same.

Jordan is 10 and has been helping mommy for the past five years. They said it's a great experience.

27- year old Megan helped out. Her newborn was patient and cooperative. She  was helped by her 6-year old Kaylee. And the gentleman is her brother.

                                         

                                        FYI: One of my girlfriends made Pineapple delight. It was heaven

Thought for the day : Wear you boots in winter. 

We have a hero

This is for all the Nepalese people who have a reason to be proud:

Everyday, The newspaper has a clown on its news. They carefully disguise wisdom and vision on their crinkly faces and talk about the youth.There is a news about another riot on another street. A schedule of electricity cuts in different parts of the country. Then there's another clown, saying he is better than the First clown. Sometimes a genuine person comes up, realizes he is different and chooses to become the Third clown. And then one day, we don't have to look at this dark circus. Instead there is a picture of a lovely lady. She is a hero and she has been recognized. And she belongs to us. She doesn't go about chanting false hope. She has been planting inspiration. We are told- the country is in shambles. We have a reason to rub it in the World's face; We have a hero.We have a hero.While countries fight over their leader's love-life, we have a country that  has been raped, and is now pregnant with a child; she doesn't know if she wants or not. But the mother has hope. Maybe her child will not be raised in blood? It gave me great pleasure to see that almost every one I know shared the CNN Hero 2010 link on their Facebook.  From wise adults to 16- year-olds. Everyone could feel the beacon of hope entering the wounded veins of our country's foundation, soothing it. Anuradha Koirala did not only save women from becoming what they didn't want to. She pulled the country out of a deep well of misery. And you would have to understand the pain of seeing the clowns (again), to fully appreciate this great woman.

Am I right?

This is a picture my cousin took in Mangalbarey, in 2007. It was a nice trip to Nepal's remote village.. It reads-  We are the voice for a community, free from girl trafficking. We welcome you.

Anuradha Koirala, Cnn Hero 2010